Journal: May edition

So formerly known as my monthly reviews, I have decided to treat this mini series as a sort of journal where I can talk about whatever has happened in my life in that month whether its good or bad.

Life

For me, no month is ever the same, sometimes its full of good things and sometimes I feel very overwhelmed with the bad. This time, the bad has been proving to be the strongest, rearing its head at the most unsuspecting moments in my life. You know, the traditional thoughts of "you don't mean anything to anyone" and "no one cares about you" etc.  I have dealt with this long enough now to know that it wont last forever so all is well I guess. I may have ended the month on a bad-ish note but the beginning of the month held a lot of promise; I turned 19 on the 11th and I had a nice meal with Emily the day after to celebrate the day. This was a big thing for me because I don't like my birthday at all. to me its just another day of the week (I'm a pessimist okay) but this time I was able to get out a little. Not to mention, I finished university (hopefully) in the first week of the month. This is providing I have passed the assignments obviously but my first year at the "big scary place" is over...and I made it! I wasn't always sure that I would but I did and I'm very pleased about that.

Friendships

I think there is a time in a friendship where you have to learn to let go, you wont always be the person that they want to be around and I'm learning to deal with that. At the same time, I still try to make sure that these people know that I'm there to support them if they ever need it. In life there are people who are the real life representation of the Friends TV show, they have a close group of friends that they always see etc and then there's those that don't. Maybe I'm just in for a life as a lone wolf? Wouldn't that be an interesting adventure?

Goals, Goals, Goals.

I decided to look back at last months goals to see if I had managed to achieve any of them. Although in hindsight it would have been a good idea if I actually looked back at them regularly so that I knew during the month what I was striving for ...woops.

1. Finish my assignments- This is a biggie because the deadline- like I said earlier- is the 9th so unless I fail with a 'non-submission' then by the end of the month they will all be done. It will be a huge weight off my shoulders when I do. Get ready for a one person party! 
2. Read more mindfulness books- So recently I wrote a post reviewing my recent purchases of 'mindfulness' or 'positivity' books. I cannot wait to start reading them, and I'm sure that I'll get loads of blog post ideas when I'm doing so!
3. Take care of my skin more- So normally I try to care for my skin, I mean, I'm religious about not going to sleep with makeup on, I wash my makeup brushes after either each use or every second use. Recently, I've been too busy to do much with my face at all. I haven't really washed it all that thoroughly and I can see the difference. Stress causes breakouts anyway but the lack of regular cleansing isn't helping!

Looking through these 3 things, though they may not be the biggest goals ever created, I have managed to achieve all of them! Anyone who knows me, knows just how unorganised I am when it comes to meeting goals (even though I have the good intention to!). I've already mentioned how I finished my assignments, I've even had the spare time to read a lot more. 

Sitting outside after a bad yesterday, turning it all around reading @galadarling 's "Radical self love". #recoverywin #perksofrecovery

— Perks of Recovery (@perksofrecovery) May 31, 2016

The first one I'm reading is called "Radical Self-Love" By Gala Darling and I am completely LOVING IT!! She is a woman born from some of the issues that I have personally suffered with and I can really understand how she turned her life around, I think that because of the similarities I am really able to contextualise what shes saying.

On a final note, I have stayed true to my word and took better care of my skin. I even went into Lush for the first time ever this month and fell in love with some of their products (I went a little crazy in there). Sorry not sorry. In fact I love it that much that Im probably going to write a post about it soon, reviewing all of the things that I have bought. I'm very proud that i managed to stick by my goals this month, even without knowing it.

May might not have been the best but it sure shows me that my worst days lately are no where near as bad as they used to be. That shows progress am I right?! Here's to a better June, with all of its special days!
- Louise x