A-Z of Recovery: Managing urges

 So, I think that it’s more than past time for a new A-Z of Recovery post. Since beginning my recovery 4 years ago, there have been a few times where I’ve relapsed or really wanted to do so. Managing the urges that any negative feelings or illnesses promote is very important for staying in recovery and taking care of yourself.

Take some time out for yourself- 'Me time' is anything that you know that you enjoy, that de-stresses you and inevitably improves your mood. It is most often our "escape route" in times of stress and that isn't a problem. We all need a little space to just forget about our troubles for a while before getting on with dealing with them. It is a time to rejuvenate our souls. Whether it’s some meditation, a fun new class or just a walk, find something that you can do for yourself that will not only provide some personal time but also provides a distraction from whatever is plaguing you. 

Stop comparing yourself to others- it’s so easy to get caught up in the trap of looking at people and comparing everything about them to ourselves. These are generally strangers so we end up taking things at face value and making ourselves feel bad because we feel we don’t measure up to how fabulous the other people look, or how nice their car or house is etc. The truth is, we don’t know the backstory of anyone we have just met so they could

Become aware of your negative self-talk-  (i.e. I can’t do that because I’m fat. I always make mistakes). Challenge and dispute that talk (i.e. I am successful at … The size of my body does not determine my worth). Replace the negative statements with positive statements and encouragement (i.e. I have value. It is o.k. to make mistakes. I learn from my mistakes).

Treat yourself as you would a friend- one of the best ways to become conscious of the way that we negatively talk about ourselves is to begin to treat yourself as you would your best friend. You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself. 

Challenge your negative thoughts- You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the negative thoughts you have in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a self-loving and accepting one. Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the negative thoughts, it’s still so important to challenge them, because each time you do, you’re taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. And the more you challenge those thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become. So even if it feels silly and useless in the moment, keep arguing back. Don’t allow your negative body thoughts to go unchallenged.