It's a marathon....

That's what it feels like when you are caring for a loved one with an eating disorder..... a marathon....but a marathon that goes on and on, that no matter how much you want to give up and stop "running" you can't, one that you haven't remotely trained for but got entered into the "race" anyway, one that no matter how tired you still goes on and on with the finishing line nowhere in sight....

As a Mum (particularly one who was anorexic for years) I should have had sufficient training in how to care for my loved one.... but I didn't.  I got things wrong albeit with the very best of intentions.

So.... when I hear that my precious loved one has completed a marathon in a fantastic time there are no words... just an immense feeling of pride.  Even more so because the whole achievement was down to my loved one.  It feels like it has turned full circle - a "marathon" is over by the completion of an actual marathon.

I can breathe again...

Its never too late (to say hello spring)

So spring has finally sprung, the weather here in Britain is finally starting to pick up... kind of. There are less gale force winds, constant hail and pouring rain.... Actually it always rains so never mind that last part. One of the main messages about spring is that it is a time for new beginnings. It contains a very religious time for some people and for others it can just mean chocolate, flowers and easter egg hunts.

No matter what easter or spring time in general means to you, just remember that it is never too late to start a clean slate. It doesn't matter what your situation is emotionally, physically or even environmentally. There are always going to be times when we 'mess up' which can then lead to an even longer period of time where we are beating ourselves up for it. Upon reflection, I realised that this is just a waste of time. Whatever has happened is now in the past, it is up to us to either learn from it or even just pretend it never happened. (Personally I like to learn the lessons in my mistakes so that I am less likely to do it again). Any extra time spent stressing over what has happened will more than likely just lead to negative feelings. If there is a way to make up for what has happened in a positive way, then by all means go for it. If not, just concentrating on what you can do to make the present better for yourself and everyone/everything around you is enough.

I have spent many restless nights tossing and turning, blaming myself for things that have happened and thinking of drastic ways in which I can make myself suffer as a kind of comeuppance for what has happened. I never realised that i needed to forgive myself as much as I am prepared to forgive others. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and whilst it can really hurt, you owe it to yourself to come to terms with what has happened and move on.

It is never too late to start a fresh and build something new. Spring is a very inspiring time for this but it doesn't matter where you are or what is happening. The only thing that is stopping you is yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, we just have to learn from them.

Stay strong
- Louise xoxo

Find Inner Peace (Sticks and Stones)

Hey guys, happy April! This is a month of beauty, inside and out. its a time for celebration not just because this month is associated with the Goddess Aphrodite and the love and beauty that she brings into the world, but also because April is the month of Buddha’s birthday. He is a symbol of peace and tranquility after a new start so don't be afraid if things begin to change. Change is good; it allows us to move forward.

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II)

1. Stand in the Mountain Pose. Exhale, stepping your feet wide apart
2. Inhale and raise your arms parallel to the floor and reach them actively out to the sides, shoulder blades wide, palms down.
3. Inhale and turn your left foot and leg out 90 degrees to the left, lining the heel of your left foot up with the arch of your right foot.
4. Inhale, and as you exhale bend your left knee, forming a right angle with your left thigh and shin. Stack your knee directly above your ankle in line with your second toe. (Hint: Lining your front knee up with your second toe and bringing your thigh parallel to the floor protects your knee and strengthens the muscles around it. )
5. Relax your shoulders away from your ears and turn your head to gaze out over your left hand. Reach through your arms, feeling a line of energy from the tips of your right fingers through the tips of your left. Relax your jaw. Hold for 3 to 10 slow, deep breaths.
6. To come out of the pose, turn your head back to face forward, straighten your left leg, and rotate it back, bringing your feet to parallel.
7. Turn your right leg out 90 degrees to switch sides and repeat.

Benefits of Virabhadrasana II

• Strengthens legs, shoulders and arms
• Stretches groins, chest, shoulders, thighs and ankles
• Expands your chest, lungs and shoulders.
• Increases stamina and endurance.
• Relieves backaches, especially through the second trimester of pregnancy.
• Improves balance, concentration and core awareness.
• Helps endurance
• Reduces weariness
• Enhances self confidence
• Improves a scattered mind
• Aids an imbalanced spirit

I learnt so much last month, but my main lesson was that sometimes we need to let go in order to move on and be happier. It’s often easy to hold a grudge against yourself and other people, but what do we gain from that? Anger. Sadness. Maybe even jealousy?

So our message for you all this month is to start letting go of the grudges, of the stress, heartbreak, pain. Let go and you’ll find yourself to be much happier because of it.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without”

Don’t give up,

Alyssa & Louise