Autumn-scape

Hello lovelies,

So as most of you know, I am completely obsessed with Autumn/Fall. Throughout the year, I experience Winter, Spring and a very brief Summer... the reason for that is because my obsession for Autumn springs back into full force! It is my favourite season of all and here are some of my reasons why;

The endless baking opportunities- Pumpkin pie anyone?!

Cozy days with thick jumpers, soup and mugs of tea

Its filled with wonderful holidays such as the Autumn Equinox and Halloween

The beauty of nature is increased by 2000%

The sun through the trees appears to set them alight!

Need I add....THE CLOTHES!!!

Walks through the fallen leaves

The Boots....and everything seems so rustic



The crisp autumn air- there are so many delicious and intriguing scents

Reading by firelight

 What are your favourite things about our upcoming season?

Love, Louise xoxo

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all about the A-Z of Recovery

Hey guys, so this is the beginning of something new for us!

So thanks to a lot of time spent on Pinterest, I came across some pictures known as the A-Z/ABC's of Recovery. Now these pictures include specific words that are associated with each letter of the alphabet  and this word corresponds with a specific act that makes recovery not just possible, but easier. now recovery is an ongoing process (that we are ALWAYS talking about) and it is something that will never end for us but when I first began my recovery from the 'bad things' in my life, I didn't really know what I should do in order to actually help myself. I find this idea really helpful because there are things that are highlighted that I have never thought of as ways to help us feel better about ourselves as we go through our own individual journeys.

 

 

 

Once a week (no promises because you all know how bad I am at sticking to a guideline) there will be a new letter of the alphabet with my own interpretation of what I think it means. It's open to your own interpretation too of course. in fact, you can comment your views on each weeks post and what it means to you! That would be a good way to promote recovery in our little community.

 

Go team internet!

 

Love Louise xoxo

Changes

Hello everyone!

So… you may have noticed some changes on our blog…

We have decided to change our blog name from Perks of Recovery to Empty Journal. After almost two years of blogging, we want to expand, explore and write about different topics. We’d been planning create a new blog later this year, but instead we finally decided that we should take a step forward and just simply change the name of this blog. It was quite scary for us to do this as we have grown attached to Perks of Recovery as it has helped us both so much during our own recoveries, however we felt that the name was restricting us.

We will still be continuing with Perks of Recovery; we are keeping our twitter the same and we’ll continue POR as a blog series. We’d like to thank our guest bloggers who have written some lovely posts for us, and we hope that they will continue to blog for us in the future.

We are both really looking forward to this new chapter, and we can’t wait to share even more posts with you!

Our exams finish in June, so after that we will be putting 100% into making our Empty Journal the best that it can be. Hopefully we will both be going off to university in September, so we also look forward to writing about that.

Again, thank you to everyone who has contributed to Perks of Recovery, whether it’s as a reader or a blogger.

Alyssa and Louise

It's a marathon....

That's what it feels like when you are caring for a loved one with an eating disorder..... a marathon....but a marathon that goes on and on, that no matter how much you want to give up and stop "running" you can't, one that you haven't remotely trained for but got entered into the "race" anyway, one that no matter how tired you still goes on and on with the finishing line nowhere in sight....

As a Mum (particularly one who was anorexic for years) I should have had sufficient training in how to care for my loved one.... but I didn't.  I got things wrong albeit with the very best of intentions.

So.... when I hear that my precious loved one has completed a marathon in a fantastic time there are no words... just an immense feeling of pride.  Even more so because the whole achievement was down to my loved one.  It feels like it has turned full circle - a "marathon" is over by the completion of an actual marathon.

I can breathe again...

Its never too late (to say hello spring)

So spring has finally sprung, the weather here in Britain is finally starting to pick up... kind of. There are less gale force winds, constant hail and pouring rain.... Actually it always rains so never mind that last part. One of the main messages about spring is that it is a time for new beginnings. It contains a very religious time for some people and for others it can just mean chocolate, flowers and easter egg hunts.

No matter what easter or spring time in general means to you, just remember that it is never too late to start a clean slate. It doesn't matter what your situation is emotionally, physically or even environmentally. There are always going to be times when we 'mess up' which can then lead to an even longer period of time where we are beating ourselves up for it. Upon reflection, I realised that this is just a waste of time. Whatever has happened is now in the past, it is up to us to either learn from it or even just pretend it never happened. (Personally I like to learn the lessons in my mistakes so that I am less likely to do it again). Any extra time spent stressing over what has happened will more than likely just lead to negative feelings. If there is a way to make up for what has happened in a positive way, then by all means go for it. If not, just concentrating on what you can do to make the present better for yourself and everyone/everything around you is enough.

I have spent many restless nights tossing and turning, blaming myself for things that have happened and thinking of drastic ways in which I can make myself suffer as a kind of comeuppance for what has happened. I never realised that i needed to forgive myself as much as I am prepared to forgive others. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and whilst it can really hurt, you owe it to yourself to come to terms with what has happened and move on.

It is never too late to start a fresh and build something new. Spring is a very inspiring time for this but it doesn't matter where you are or what is happening. The only thing that is stopping you is yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, we just have to learn from them.

Stay strong
- Louise xoxo

Find Inner Peace (Sticks and Stones)

Hey guys, happy April! This is a month of beauty, inside and out. its a time for celebration not just because this month is associated with the Goddess Aphrodite and the love and beauty that she brings into the world, but also because April is the month of Buddha’s birthday. He is a symbol of peace and tranquility after a new start so don't be afraid if things begin to change. Change is good; it allows us to move forward.

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II)

1. Stand in the Mountain Pose. Exhale, stepping your feet wide apart
2. Inhale and raise your arms parallel to the floor and reach them actively out to the sides, shoulder blades wide, palms down.
3. Inhale and turn your left foot and leg out 90 degrees to the left, lining the heel of your left foot up with the arch of your right foot.
4. Inhale, and as you exhale bend your left knee, forming a right angle with your left thigh and shin. Stack your knee directly above your ankle in line with your second toe. (Hint: Lining your front knee up with your second toe and bringing your thigh parallel to the floor protects your knee and strengthens the muscles around it. )
5. Relax your shoulders away from your ears and turn your head to gaze out over your left hand. Reach through your arms, feeling a line of energy from the tips of your right fingers through the tips of your left. Relax your jaw. Hold for 3 to 10 slow, deep breaths.
6. To come out of the pose, turn your head back to face forward, straighten your left leg, and rotate it back, bringing your feet to parallel.
7. Turn your right leg out 90 degrees to switch sides and repeat.

Benefits of Virabhadrasana II

• Strengthens legs, shoulders and arms
• Stretches groins, chest, shoulders, thighs and ankles
• Expands your chest, lungs and shoulders.
• Increases stamina and endurance.
• Relieves backaches, especially through the second trimester of pregnancy.
• Improves balance, concentration and core awareness.
• Helps endurance
• Reduces weariness
• Enhances self confidence
• Improves a scattered mind
• Aids an imbalanced spirit

I learnt so much last month, but my main lesson was that sometimes we need to let go in order to move on and be happier. It’s often easy to hold a grudge against yourself and other people, but what do we gain from that? Anger. Sadness. Maybe even jealousy?

So our message for you all this month is to start letting go of the grudges, of the stress, heartbreak, pain. Let go and you’ll find yourself to be much happier because of it.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without”

Don’t give up,

Alyssa & Louise

March Sticks & Stones

Sticks and Stones

Your Guide to the Month of March

Hey guys, welcome back! For those of us that live in the Northern Hemisphere, spring officially begins this month - yay! This month symbolises new life and new beginnings, so take struggle in your stride and make March your month. We thought we’d share this idiom with you to kick start this month;

“March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb”

This means that the first days of March are often stormy, and the last days are mild and warm. So no matter what happens this month, good or bad, make the most of it and try to stay positive.

So March is a special month for us because of one more reason; its Alyssa’s 18th birthday on the 5th! It’s a huge milestone and we’ll write a blog post about what we get up to and how we celebrate, so it’ll be like you were all there with us!

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I)

1. Stand in the Mountain Pose. Exhale, stepping your feet wide apart
2. Place your hands on your hips and turn your right leg and foot out by 90 , with your right heel directly opposite the inner arch of your left foot.
3. Turn your left leg and foot in by about 45 degrees.
4. Turn your chest to the right, pressing your left hip forwards to square your hips.
5. Inhale and raise your arms above your head, bringing your palms together and looking straight forward
6. Exhale and bend your right knee to a 90 degree angle - it should be right over your ankle - and take a moment to balance yourself.
7. Lean your head back and gaze upwards at your fingertips as you drop your tailbone down towards the floor. To deepen the stretch, gently arch your back.
8. Hold for 5 breaths.
9. Inhale, straighten your legs and lower your arms, then bring your legs together to return to the Mountain Pose.
10. Repeat on the other side.

Benefits of Virabhadrasana I

• Improves focus, balance and stability
• Energises entire body
• Improves concentration and core awareness
• Improves flexibility
• Boosts resolve and self-confidence
• Opens hips, chest and lungs and improves breathing

Lessons we have learned this month;

Although there are so many times when it seems like you have lost your footing on your road to recovery. You are trying to “climb that mountain” but you keep slipping? This is all part of the process. We need to make the decision for recovery every day because there are always going to new circumstances in each and every day. It doesnt matter how many times you relapse, as long as you get back onto the road of recovery.

Thanks for sticking with us for another month - we appreciate everyone that reads our blog. We hope that you have a fantastic spring (or Autumn if you live in the Southern Hemisphere!) and make the most of every chance that comes your way this month, and the rest of your life. Remember - “your attitude is your altitude; it determines how high you fly”.

Don’t give up,

- Alyssa & Louise

Where we have been

So lately we have both been pretty absent from the realm of social media. Needless to say, because we are coming to the end of our final year at sixth form our work load has increased greatly and it is often hard to find time to set aside for blogging, tweeting and planning.

This post is just a little reminder to let you all know that we are still continuing with the Sticks & Stones and other regular posts. There are also extra surprises that we have been hinting about for a while now.

So you have to stick around to find out what they are ;)

Stay strong, love yourself and do what you love.
-Louise xoxo

Letting Go

Letting Go

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2015. 

It jogged my memory that it was about time I wrote another post ……

One of the hardest things for me is having the confidence to “let go” and to let my loved one take more responsibility for her eating disorder.

You carry your children for 9 months (actually 9 ½ in my case), feed them, nurture them, run  round after them, embarrass them (not sure that my son has ever forgiven me for dashing onto a rugby pitch to check he was alright! J )… and the whole point of this is so that they grow up to become independent and good people and you let go…..

I will be honest – this is not something I have found easy – my children mean the world to me and my instinct to protect them is rather strong.  I am a worrier.  Couple this with a child with an eating disorder and it is even harder.  I so much want to protect her, want her to be well, want her to be independent and at the same time my mother’s instinct kicks in and I am scared to let go, scared that she needs my help, scared that she won’t eat.

At the height of her illness my daughter went to university – I supported her decision to leave hospital and to do this – despite wanting to envelop her in “cotton wool” – I let her go – even writing to her medical team to show support for this idea.   I feel like I lived these years in a state of constant worry – behind the scenes I was ensuring care was in place, I trusted her to let me know when she was struggling and I would hop on a train and stay nearby for a few days.  The university medical centre took care of her – monitoring her regularly.  I had to trust that they were doing their job.  I had to trust that my daughter was being open with them.  It was hard – but how proud I was of her on the day she graduated, I was so pleased that I had been able to let go enough to let her achieve this .  She needed to experience the world for herself.

My daughter came back home after uni and lived here for a while.  It was hard – my protective instincts cut in again when I could visibly see that she wasn’t eating enough, that she was spending hours at the gym.  We tried the encouragement, we tried the nagging – at the stage of illness my daughter was at – it didn’t help – in fact it made things worse.  She understandably felt that we were watching her all the time.  I knew the GP was monitoring her so I forced myself to try to ignore the ED behaviour (I admit that I wasn't always 100% successful at this!)  – and what do you know – it didn’t get any worse – in fact she managed and far far better than I thought she would.

At some point, a person with an Eating Disorder needs to take responsibility for themselves, they need to learn how to manage it themselves.....

Letting go – it is hard – but just sometimes (depending on the circumstances) it can be the right thing to do.

Ann

Happy New Year! (Sticks and Stones)

The Sticks and Stones

Your Guide to the Month of January

Hey guys, it’s Alyssa and Louise here to wish you a happy New Year! The new year symbolises a time for new beginnings, new possibilities and more fun. So, with that said, welcome to our brand new blog series “Sticks & Stones”! We have so much in store for 2015, and we hope that you will join us on our journey.

January is the national thank you month, so we’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has helped and supported us on our journey so far;

• Frankie
• Matthew
• Bridget
• Devon / The Love Spreader
• Megan 
• Brittany // RecoverySpirit

We really appreciate everything that these people have done for us, we are so grateful for all of the support and guidance that these people have provided for us over the past year and a half that we have been on this blog.

It’s so important to thank people for whatever support they give us, and to show that we are grateful, which is why we now want to challenge you guys to make a list of everyone that you were grateful for in 2014! We also want you to make a list of everything that you hope to have accomplished by the end of the year. Here are ours:

• Be able to do the downward dog
• Be able to hold a headstand 
• Be able to do the splits
• Reach 10,000 blog views
• Write a book
• Continue to be happy

Now I suppose we should tell you a bit about what Sticks & Stones will entail…

• A new smoothie recipe each month
• A yoga pose to help you relax
• A lesson we learnt last month (life lessons)

Did you know: the 3rd of January is “the festival of sleep” day? Haha! This holiday is celebrated by learning about and experiencing a sound sleep after the busyness of the holidays is over! Take this time to sleep in and give your mind and body the rest it deserves!

Smoothie Recipe of the Month

Winter Berries

• 1 cup of organic frozen berries (any kind)
• 2 cups of fresh spinach
• ginger
• Water (add depending on how thick/thin you want it)

This smoothie tastes great with ice cream, just make sure you don't overdo the ginger! 

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Tadasana (The Mountain Pose) to welcome the new year

• Stand with your feet together, big toes touching, spine straight, and head erect.
• Lift your kneecaps, activating your quads, and press the tops of your thighs back as you point your tailbone down between your heels.
• Lengthen your spine up, broaden across your collarbones, let your shoulders slide down your back, and stretch your arms down alongside the body, fingers spread and active.
• Hold for 5 to 10 breaths.

image source:http://iml.jou.ufl.edu

Benefits of Tadasana:

• Improves posture and relieves tension, aches, and pains throughout the body.
• Develops strength and flexibility simultaneously, especially in the spine
• Increases awareness and steadies breathing
• Increases strength, power, and mobility in the feet, legs, and hips 
• Develops strength and flexibility simultaneously, especially in the spine
• Improves blood circulation
• Encourages healthy digestion and elimination
• Leaves you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated
• Expels dullness and depression and harmonizes the body and mind
• Increases energy and enthusiasm

Did you know: squirrel appreciation day and Thomas Crapper day both fall on the 27th of January! A day dedicated to squirrels and the man who invented the flush toilet, wow...

It’s almost time for us to sign off, but first we’d just like to share a lesson that we learnt in 2014;
We’ve both learnt how to become more conscious; of our time, feelings/emotions and workload. Both in school and here on our blog, neither of us were managing our time well, which meant that school work stressed us out more than we should and we neglected the blog. We had some sort of an epiphany and decided that we need to spend more time on our school work (we’re both in our last and most important year of school before we are left to venture off into the wider world on our own - ahhh) and manage our ‘blogging time’ more efficiently, which is why we came up with this monthly blog series; this way we have at least one post a month. We’ve also come up with a timeline, which gives us a list of blog-related things we hope to have accomplished by the end of each month/year. This has really helped us both manage our work, as we used to spend some of our study periods focusing on blogging instead of studying, because we now know exactly what needs to be done and by when, and if we have any free time we can make ourselves ahead of schedule!


Thank you all so much for reading our blog, it means more to us than you will ever know. We are looking forward to continuing our journey on Perks Of Recovery with all of you.


“Since everything is a reflection of our minds, everything can be changed by our minds” - Buddha.

Don’t give up,

Alyssa & Louise