How to take care of yourself during a bad body image day

So I thought I would go through our old tumblr posts to get some inspiration for new posts when I came across something that I had reblogged a while ago. While I'm not sure who initially wrote this, I figured it was best to keep where I had got this from as a link on the bottom so feel free to check this person out. I may be in recovery but there are still quite a few days where I am having a bad day for my body image. It's hard to learn to love yourself again and I appreciate it when I come across things that give me that extra boost to get me through the day. I just figured that you guys deserved to have something that you could come and look at if you needed that boost and I am going to find more things like this and make a collection of them to help all of us. 

When music speaks

One of the things that I use everyday, that is a huge influencer of my mood is music. I have a playlists for every mood and listening tto the right one helps release any unspoken emotions. The lyrics of the songs in each playlist 100% portray my emotions on a specific life event, mood or person. Its a very creative way for me to feel like I have been through a session of therapy. 

'Me time'

So in such a modern world, it is very hard for us to find the time to take a step back from the constant rush of life and actually have some "me time". There is always something that we find to do, some last minute piece of work that you forgot or you are suddenly expecting company so you have to quickly get the house (or your room) in order, which then causes you to panic a little.

Holiday coping tips

Wow, its hard to think about just how fast the year has gone. There have been so many things that have changed for me this year and I couldn't be more grateful for them but if I am honest, like most people with eating disorders, I am a little worried about the holidays. The holidays means lots and lots of food and that makes me worry about whether or not I can stay strong during this season. Here are some coping tips for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving and/or Christmas....it's coming soon!!!!!!!

A-Z of Recovery: Gaining back your health

Even after I wrote the post explaining why I wanted to change up the way I was blogging and the sort of things that I posted about, one thing that I wanted to continue with related to Mental Health is my A-Z of Recovery series. I started this at the beginning of the year and I'm really happy with how consistent I have been with it and I still really enjoy writing about some of these topics and so here it is!

A-Z of Recovery: Freedom

The meaning behind this post really resonates with Sundays post. Just because someone suffers with a Mental illness (or any kind of illness), doesn't mean that it should have to be the be all and end all of your life. Its an issue that needs to be dealt with and will take constant care and attention. It's very easy to let it become the center of everything you do, to let it dictate who you are and what you can do. You are in charge of your own life, if there is something that you know will undo your hard work then of course, leave it alone, but don't restrict yourself just because you are afraid to let go.

One of the greatest things about recovery (for any kind of illness) is the freedom you gain. You eventually get to the point that you're not tied down or hindered by the thoughts, the feelings etc that you've faced in the past. This isn't a fast acting thing. There's no way (that I know of) to begin recovery and completely feel fine straight away. It's a constant progression from the life that you used to have, to one of love and acceptance.

A-Z of Recovery: Eating Healthy

One of the big things about recovery from many mental illnesses is the way we treat our bodies and our mind. For some people, nothing makes them feel more free than being out and about. Having a complete distraction from life when you’re working out can be super important because you have to give your complete attention to the task at hand. It also releases endorphins, which are powerful chemicals in your brain that are energizing and make you feel good. That’s why exercise is often used as a way to help combat mental Health issues such as Depression or Anxiety.

A-Z of Recovery: Asking for help

No matter what issues we are suffering from in life, it is very important that we acknowledge that help is at hand if we just have the courage to ask for it. A lot of the time, people can deal with their issues alone and with a lot of success but there are instances where talking to someone or asking for some kind of help is the best possible decision you can make.

Remember the saying "a problem shared is a problem halved", well think that through whenever you're dealing with something. There are so many different people that are there to support you if you only ask.

School/Education
This can often be one of the most stressful times for a teenager, with exams, friends, society, how you look, homework etc. It is a time where everything seems to have so much importance. The issue is, its often seen as 'stupid' or 'uncool' to ask for advice or explain to your teachers that you're struggling. I personally had to go for help to my head of year and one of my teachers, it was a really hard and embarrassing time explaining my issues and how my thoughts work but I'm so glad that I did it. I got help with deadlines, I knew where to go if and when I was having a bad day or a panic attack etc.

Friends and family
These are the people that know the most about you and generally can understand just how your personality works, this means that if you work with them to get something that is individual to you and may therefore be better. Plus the support of family and friends is very important if you have to make any lifestyle change, even if they are only emotional because they can point out to you when you're doing it wrong or if you've managed to keep it up. 

Professionals
Although I said above that family and friends are great to talk to, sometimes its harder to talk to the people that you know because you fear that they will judge you or it will affect the way that they treat you in the future. Professionals are the people that have trained for the very situations that you are in and have the know-how of what to do to influence it for the better. Whilst this information isn't 100% guaranteed, its always good to have different perspectives on how to deal with your issues, you can even personalise them into something more suited to you.

Never be afraid to speak up or ask for help
-Louise x

100th post!

So this post is actually our 100th post! I'm so excited and this marks such a huge occasion for us. Nearly 3 years worth of work and we have hit this new milestone. It feels so refreshing to know that our journey has been documented somewhere where I can go back and relive those moments. I decided that as this is a momentous occasion I would look over some of our previous milestones and share them with you all!

Our very first post was written 2 years and 9 months ago! How frigging crazy is that?! It's a typical, cheesy line but it really does feel like just yesterday that I was talking with Alyssa about wanting to have a social media account that allowed me to express my feelings, share my story and maybe help someone. I never really thought that it was going to happen but just look at me now! I was using all these other accounts for inspiration and it was something I was so happy about doing, nearly 3 years down the line and I still love it.



For our 2 week anniversary I remember writing this post in the back of my grandparents car. It was summer and I was so excited that the blog had been active for 2 weeks and we had gotten nearly 100 views! We were enjoying the simplest things in life and it was so much fun to just sit and catch up whilst enjoying nature and planning new things for the blog. It was literally one of the best feelings ever.

I began my gushy, epiphany moments in October and kick started some of the many moments where I would just completely and honestly share my feelings with you all. These posts are always met with positivity and an open mind so you've all made me feel so great about being 100% honest. Added to that, its still the second most popular post on my blog (and it was over 2 years ago!)

The beginning of 2014 signified the time where we stopped being anonymous. This was a really big decision for us because there were already people that we knew that had come across the blog. By adding our names, it made it a lot easier for them to narrow down who we were through what we were talking about and the experiences that we shared on here. We had kept our issues a secret from other people for so long that it was such an anxious time when we hit that "publish" button, we didn't know how they were going to react but we did it anyway. We were strong and we had faith in ourselves and everything was okay!

After we hit our first year anniversary as a blog, we were able to reflect on our journeys as a whole and see how much we have grown as people. Reading that post back right now, I was able to see just how much had actually changed for me but also how much I was lying to myself. The post wasn't entirely true with how well I was doing in my recovery at the time but the point of the post was to highlight that things aren't perfect for me and I was still struggling but I am fighting and I will never give up. I'm so happy to know that although there are still relapses and hard times, I have never given up and I never will.  (Also you'll notice that the post was published in July- not June- because we got confused at the month we started the blog...woops)

When I originally tweeted and wrote about my relationship with myself, people were very confused, I described myself as both my saviour and my own villain. It was a very strange way of me expressing that we are made of both good and bad but if we embrace the bad and accept that it helps to shape who we are then we can truly accept ourselves as a whole. At this point, I was taking the phrase "fake it till you make it" to heart. The post was my way of telling myself that although I have these issues and my life isn't perfect, but it has shaped me as a person and for that, I can never be more grateful for my circumstances. You have to truly embrace every single part of your soul in order for you to be truly happy with yourself.

In May 2015, we made one of the biggest changes ever to our blogging experience; we changed our name and our niche. It was beginning to get very difficult being a Mental Health blogger, for Alyssa it was becoming something that she didn't want to do because she was trying to get over her issues now that she had dealt with them (so blogging was reinforcing it rather than letting her get on with her life). For me, it was a situation where I felt a little monotonous and like I was saying the same thing during each post. This was mainly because I was blogging about the kind of things that I personally needed to hear so I was just vocalising it on here. The change of the blog meant that we could still include mental health posts but that we could also talk about more things that we enjoy in our everyday lives.

January 2015 signified the start of a new series called Sticks and Stones which was almost like a little review of who we liked to thank that month, some facts and information about that specific month, some yoga poses, a smoothie recipe and much more. This series was very short lived due to other things going on in our lives but its something that I'm very open to maybe launching in the future. Let me know in the comments!

Another series I launched was called the A-Z of Recovery. I once again found the picture on Pinterest and thought it was a perfect piece of inspiration for 26 blog post titles. I'm really excited for actually writing these posts because our recovery based posts are always so popular and you all say they're really helpful. This so far only has an introduction post but the first post for this series has already been drafted ready for the actual launch later this year!

Our quote " your attitude is your altitude; it determines how high you fly" was originally found on Pinterest (I think) with no mention of who had created it but personally that quote just fit so well with what we were beginning to feel and what we are trying to express to you all. We all may have our own issues in this life but it is the way that we react and the ways that we deal with them that can either boost us or hinder us.

Your constant support has constantly been a reminder to me to stay strong because I am loved and I can make a difference in this world. I am here to remind you that life is like a rollercoaster so you have to endure the lows, enjoy the highs and just celebrate the ride. You're all going to get through this.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Love,
Louise x

It's a marathon....

That's what it feels like when you are caring for a loved one with an eating disorder..... a marathon....but a marathon that goes on and on, that no matter how much you want to give up and stop "running" you can't, one that you haven't remotely trained for but got entered into the "race" anyway, one that no matter how tired you still goes on and on with the finishing line nowhere in sight....

As a Mum (particularly one who was anorexic for years) I should have had sufficient training in how to care for my loved one.... but I didn't.  I got things wrong albeit with the very best of intentions.

So.... when I hear that my precious loved one has completed a marathon in a fantastic time there are no words... just an immense feeling of pride.  Even more so because the whole achievement was down to my loved one.  It feels like it has turned full circle - a "marathon" is over by the completion of an actual marathon.

I can breathe again...

Its never too late (to say hello spring)

So spring has finally sprung, the weather here in Britain is finally starting to pick up... kind of. There are less gale force winds, constant hail and pouring rain.... Actually it always rains so never mind that last part. One of the main messages about spring is that it is a time for new beginnings. It contains a very religious time for some people and for others it can just mean chocolate, flowers and easter egg hunts.

No matter what easter or spring time in general means to you, just remember that it is never too late to start a clean slate. It doesn't matter what your situation is emotionally, physically or even environmentally. There are always going to be times when we 'mess up' which can then lead to an even longer period of time where we are beating ourselves up for it. Upon reflection, I realised that this is just a waste of time. Whatever has happened is now in the past, it is up to us to either learn from it or even just pretend it never happened. (Personally I like to learn the lessons in my mistakes so that I am less likely to do it again). Any extra time spent stressing over what has happened will more than likely just lead to negative feelings. If there is a way to make up for what has happened in a positive way, then by all means go for it. If not, just concentrating on what you can do to make the present better for yourself and everyone/everything around you is enough.

I have spent many restless nights tossing and turning, blaming myself for things that have happened and thinking of drastic ways in which I can make myself suffer as a kind of comeuppance for what has happened. I never realised that i needed to forgive myself as much as I am prepared to forgive others. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and whilst it can really hurt, you owe it to yourself to come to terms with what has happened and move on.

It is never too late to start a fresh and build something new. Spring is a very inspiring time for this but it doesn't matter where you are or what is happening. The only thing that is stopping you is yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, we just have to learn from them.

Stay strong
- Louise xoxo

Find Inner Peace (Sticks and Stones)

Hey guys, happy April! This is a month of beauty, inside and out. its a time for celebration not just because this month is associated with the Goddess Aphrodite and the love and beauty that she brings into the world, but also because April is the month of Buddha’s birthday. He is a symbol of peace and tranquility after a new start so don't be afraid if things begin to change. Change is good; it allows us to move forward.

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II)

1. Stand in the Mountain Pose. Exhale, stepping your feet wide apart
2. Inhale and raise your arms parallel to the floor and reach them actively out to the sides, shoulder blades wide, palms down.
3. Inhale and turn your left foot and leg out 90 degrees to the left, lining the heel of your left foot up with the arch of your right foot.
4. Inhale, and as you exhale bend your left knee, forming a right angle with your left thigh and shin. Stack your knee directly above your ankle in line with your second toe. (Hint: Lining your front knee up with your second toe and bringing your thigh parallel to the floor protects your knee and strengthens the muscles around it. )
5. Relax your shoulders away from your ears and turn your head to gaze out over your left hand. Reach through your arms, feeling a line of energy from the tips of your right fingers through the tips of your left. Relax your jaw. Hold for 3 to 10 slow, deep breaths.
6. To come out of the pose, turn your head back to face forward, straighten your left leg, and rotate it back, bringing your feet to parallel.
7. Turn your right leg out 90 degrees to switch sides and repeat.

Benefits of Virabhadrasana II

• Strengthens legs, shoulders and arms
• Stretches groins, chest, shoulders, thighs and ankles
• Expands your chest, lungs and shoulders.
• Increases stamina and endurance.
• Relieves backaches, especially through the second trimester of pregnancy.
• Improves balance, concentration and core awareness.
• Helps endurance
• Reduces weariness
• Enhances self confidence
• Improves a scattered mind
• Aids an imbalanced spirit

I learnt so much last month, but my main lesson was that sometimes we need to let go in order to move on and be happier. It’s often easy to hold a grudge against yourself and other people, but what do we gain from that? Anger. Sadness. Maybe even jealousy?

So our message for you all this month is to start letting go of the grudges, of the stress, heartbreak, pain. Let go and you’ll find yourself to be much happier because of it.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without”

Don’t give up,

Alyssa & Louise

March Sticks & Stones

Sticks and Stones

Your Guide to the Month of March

Hey guys, welcome back! For those of us that live in the Northern Hemisphere, spring officially begins this month - yay! This month symbolises new life and new beginnings, so take struggle in your stride and make March your month. We thought we’d share this idiom with you to kick start this month;

“March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb”

This means that the first days of March are often stormy, and the last days are mild and warm. So no matter what happens this month, good or bad, make the most of it and try to stay positive.

So March is a special month for us because of one more reason; its Alyssa’s 18th birthday on the 5th! It’s a huge milestone and we’ll write a blog post about what we get up to and how we celebrate, so it’ll be like you were all there with us!

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I)

1. Stand in the Mountain Pose. Exhale, stepping your feet wide apart
2. Place your hands on your hips and turn your right leg and foot out by 90 , with your right heel directly opposite the inner arch of your left foot.
3. Turn your left leg and foot in by about 45 degrees.
4. Turn your chest to the right, pressing your left hip forwards to square your hips.
5. Inhale and raise your arms above your head, bringing your palms together and looking straight forward
6. Exhale and bend your right knee to a 90 degree angle - it should be right over your ankle - and take a moment to balance yourself.
7. Lean your head back and gaze upwards at your fingertips as you drop your tailbone down towards the floor. To deepen the stretch, gently arch your back.
8. Hold for 5 breaths.
9. Inhale, straighten your legs and lower your arms, then bring your legs together to return to the Mountain Pose.
10. Repeat on the other side.

Benefits of Virabhadrasana I

• Improves focus, balance and stability
• Energises entire body
• Improves concentration and core awareness
• Improves flexibility
• Boosts resolve and self-confidence
• Opens hips, chest and lungs and improves breathing

Lessons we have learned this month;

Although there are so many times when it seems like you have lost your footing on your road to recovery. You are trying to “climb that mountain” but you keep slipping? This is all part of the process. We need to make the decision for recovery every day because there are always going to new circumstances in each and every day. It doesnt matter how many times you relapse, as long as you get back onto the road of recovery.

Thanks for sticking with us for another month - we appreciate everyone that reads our blog. We hope that you have a fantastic spring (or Autumn if you live in the Southern Hemisphere!) and make the most of every chance that comes your way this month, and the rest of your life. Remember - “your attitude is your altitude; it determines how high you fly”.

Don’t give up,

- Alyssa & Louise

Letting Go

Letting Go

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2015. 

It jogged my memory that it was about time I wrote another post ……

One of the hardest things for me is having the confidence to “let go” and to let my loved one take more responsibility for her eating disorder.

You carry your children for 9 months (actually 9 ½ in my case), feed them, nurture them, run  round after them, embarrass them (not sure that my son has ever forgiven me for dashing onto a rugby pitch to check he was alright! J )… and the whole point of this is so that they grow up to become independent and good people and you let go…..

I will be honest – this is not something I have found easy – my children mean the world to me and my instinct to protect them is rather strong.  I am a worrier.  Couple this with a child with an eating disorder and it is even harder.  I so much want to protect her, want her to be well, want her to be independent and at the same time my mother’s instinct kicks in and I am scared to let go, scared that she needs my help, scared that she won’t eat.

At the height of her illness my daughter went to university – I supported her decision to leave hospital and to do this – despite wanting to envelop her in “cotton wool” – I let her go – even writing to her medical team to show support for this idea.   I feel like I lived these years in a state of constant worry – behind the scenes I was ensuring care was in place, I trusted her to let me know when she was struggling and I would hop on a train and stay nearby for a few days.  The university medical centre took care of her – monitoring her regularly.  I had to trust that they were doing their job.  I had to trust that my daughter was being open with them.  It was hard – but how proud I was of her on the day she graduated, I was so pleased that I had been able to let go enough to let her achieve this .  She needed to experience the world for herself.

My daughter came back home after uni and lived here for a while.  It was hard – my protective instincts cut in again when I could visibly see that she wasn’t eating enough, that she was spending hours at the gym.  We tried the encouragement, we tried the nagging – at the stage of illness my daughter was at – it didn’t help – in fact it made things worse.  She understandably felt that we were watching her all the time.  I knew the GP was monitoring her so I forced myself to try to ignore the ED behaviour (I admit that I wasn't always 100% successful at this!)  – and what do you know – it didn’t get any worse – in fact she managed and far far better than I thought she would.

At some point, a person with an Eating Disorder needs to take responsibility for themselves, they need to learn how to manage it themselves.....

Letting go – it is hard – but just sometimes (depending on the circumstances) it can be the right thing to do.

Ann

Happy New Year! (Sticks and Stones)

The Sticks and Stones

Your Guide to the Month of January

Hey guys, it’s Alyssa and Louise here to wish you a happy New Year! The new year symbolises a time for new beginnings, new possibilities and more fun. So, with that said, welcome to our brand new blog series “Sticks & Stones”! We have so much in store for 2015, and we hope that you will join us on our journey.

January is the national thank you month, so we’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has helped and supported us on our journey so far;

• Frankie
• Matthew
• Bridget
• Devon / The Love Spreader
• Megan 
• Brittany // RecoverySpirit

We really appreciate everything that these people have done for us, we are so grateful for all of the support and guidance that these people have provided for us over the past year and a half that we have been on this blog.

It’s so important to thank people for whatever support they give us, and to show that we are grateful, which is why we now want to challenge you guys to make a list of everyone that you were grateful for in 2014! We also want you to make a list of everything that you hope to have accomplished by the end of the year. Here are ours:

• Be able to do the downward dog
• Be able to hold a headstand 
• Be able to do the splits
• Reach 10,000 blog views
• Write a book
• Continue to be happy

Now I suppose we should tell you a bit about what Sticks & Stones will entail…

• A new smoothie recipe each month
• A yoga pose to help you relax
• A lesson we learnt last month (life lessons)

Did you know: the 3rd of January is “the festival of sleep” day? Haha! This holiday is celebrated by learning about and experiencing a sound sleep after the busyness of the holidays is over! Take this time to sleep in and give your mind and body the rest it deserves!

Smoothie Recipe of the Month

Winter Berries

• 1 cup of organic frozen berries (any kind)
• 2 cups of fresh spinach
• ginger
• Water (add depending on how thick/thin you want it)

This smoothie tastes great with ice cream, just make sure you don't overdo the ginger! 

Yoga Pose/Stretch

Tadasana (The Mountain Pose) to welcome the new year

• Stand with your feet together, big toes touching, spine straight, and head erect.
• Lift your kneecaps, activating your quads, and press the tops of your thighs back as you point your tailbone down between your heels.
• Lengthen your spine up, broaden across your collarbones, let your shoulders slide down your back, and stretch your arms down alongside the body, fingers spread and active.
• Hold for 5 to 10 breaths.

image source:http://iml.jou.ufl.edu

Benefits of Tadasana:

• Improves posture and relieves tension, aches, and pains throughout the body.
• Develops strength and flexibility simultaneously, especially in the spine
• Increases awareness and steadies breathing
• Increases strength, power, and mobility in the feet, legs, and hips 
• Develops strength and flexibility simultaneously, especially in the spine
• Improves blood circulation
• Encourages healthy digestion and elimination
• Leaves you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated
• Expels dullness and depression and harmonizes the body and mind
• Increases energy and enthusiasm

Did you know: squirrel appreciation day and Thomas Crapper day both fall on the 27th of January! A day dedicated to squirrels and the man who invented the flush toilet, wow...

It’s almost time for us to sign off, but first we’d just like to share a lesson that we learnt in 2014;
We’ve both learnt how to become more conscious; of our time, feelings/emotions and workload. Both in school and here on our blog, neither of us were managing our time well, which meant that school work stressed us out more than we should and we neglected the blog. We had some sort of an epiphany and decided that we need to spend more time on our school work (we’re both in our last and most important year of school before we are left to venture off into the wider world on our own - ahhh) and manage our ‘blogging time’ more efficiently, which is why we came up with this monthly blog series; this way we have at least one post a month. We’ve also come up with a timeline, which gives us a list of blog-related things we hope to have accomplished by the end of each month/year. This has really helped us both manage our work, as we used to spend some of our study periods focusing on blogging instead of studying, because we now know exactly what needs to be done and by when, and if we have any free time we can make ourselves ahead of schedule!


Thank you all so much for reading our blog, it means more to us than you will ever know. We are looking forward to continuing our journey on Perks Of Recovery with all of you.


“Since everything is a reflection of our minds, everything can be changed by our minds” - Buddha.

Don’t give up,

Alyssa & Louise

Things that no one tells you about being a mental health blogger

Things that no one tells you about being a mental health blogger.

- It is a very sensitive subject. - That sounds completely obvious right? "of course it's sensitive. It's people's mental health" Well as simple as it sounds reading it, writing this posts is anything but easy. It takes a lot of planning, writing and re-writing posts to ensure that we have not made the subject come off in the wrong way. writing posts for over a year about mental health has been very hard. A blog in my opinion (especially our blog niche) should be easy and fun to read. The things that we talk about are the complete opposite. We cannot make it sound like light-hearted conversations with you via a computer screen because it's simply not possible.

- There is a very narrow topic choice. - When we started this blog it was because we wanted to help others. It was also like a therapy session for us because we had to turn our negative feelings and actions into positive ones. The whole meaning of the blog is to promote recovery so we cannot include any negative messages no matter how we are feeling. This is very restricting when it comes to writing posts.

- We are not qualified. - whatever is said on this blog, we have to check it thoroughly. Any person that is in any kind of mind-frame can stumble across our blog. If we post promoting certain objects, techniques etc or someone takes our advice the wrong way then we are in deep doo-doo. We are in no way qualified to talk about mental health the same way that therapists are. (Although I do have an online certificate in mental health). We are not qualified. That is why we constantly remind people that the things that we talk about are from our own personal experiences and what has worked for us.

- it's hard to keep digging up the past. - Part of my recovery was going to therapy to find out where the root cause of my problems were. This inevitably meant that I would have to go through my backstory because that was the logical thing to do. Writing posts about problems that I would rather leave in the past or about very difficult times for me is very hard. We cannot live in the past, we have to learn from the past but not let it control us.

-We have very little privacy.- We share some of our deepest darkest secrets on here. These are the kind of things that people never want to share with anyone, sometimes even their friends and family. Yet we share our full stories. This means that we have very little privacy when it comes to our life.

-A lot of hate. - There can be a lot of hate on the Internet. There are many people who could say that we are doing this blog for attention. That of course isn't true. Just like real life, the Internet can be used as a force for good or a force of negativity. So all of these things sound very negative. I have one thing to tell you all though... There is nothing in this world that I would trade for doing this blog. It has been our saviour. Do not forget that with every bad thing in the world, there are more good things happening.

What are some of your favourite things about blogging or owning a helpful social media account?

-Louise xoxo